MEN & WOMEN (JOKES)

Women are unpredictable.
Before marriage, she expects a man.
After marriage, she suspects a man.
After death, she respects him.

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her.
They got married and now he's going thru hell.

A man inserted an "AD" in the classified: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all say the same thing: "You can have mine"....

When a man opens a door of a car for his wife.
You can be sure of 1 thing: either the car is new or his wife.

Its easy to tell if a man is married or not.
Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him.
If both his hands are on the wheels, you can be sure he's married.

A man received a letter from kidnappers.
The letter said "If you don't promise to send us a $100,000, I swear we will kidnap your wife."
The poor man wrote back: "I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

What's the matter, you looked depressed."
"I'm having trouble with my wife."
"What happened?"
"She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days."
"But that ought to make you happy."
"It did, but today is the last day."